Going to a college or university is life changing enough as it is. From the point of view of a freshman, a sophomore, or even a junior, it seems terrifying. It is true that, as a senior in high school, the very idea of going to college still seems terrifying. Every year seniors apply for colleges. If it is required, they have to audition in order to get into a certain class or career path. For me, the application process wasn’t difficult. Through the entire process, the idea of going to college didn’t seem real. However, reality settled in once I began preparing to audition for Central Michigan University’s School of Music.
Since I was in the seventh grade, I wanted to be a music teacher. My band director, Mrs. Tippett, was my role model and inspiration. It was my goal to earn a degree in music education from Central Michigan University. Halfway through my senior year, I was accepted to Central Michigan University. I was absolutely overjoyed to know I was one step closer to my goal. However, I still had to be accepted into their School of Music. This is a key element for graduating with a degree in music education. The challenge that faced me was passing the audition. The way I saw my situation, the expectations were far greater than that of any high school test. I come from a Class D school where our musical abilities seem below par compared to schools like Petoskey and the Traverse City schools. The audition felt larger than life compared to everything I have done in the past. I began to think I didn't have the skills to be accepted. Mrs. Tippett had recommended early on that I should take a lesson with the oboe professor at Central Michigan University in order to be introduced to them and give myself a better chance of being accepted into their music program. So, I contacted Professor Lindabeth Binkley of Central Michigan University and set up a lesson. When I arrived at the campus for my lesson, Professor Binkley gave me a tour of the music building and I showed her everything I could do as a musician. She asked me to play some of my solo, to sight read, and to play some scales. While I was having my lesson with Professor Binkley, all of my nerves and worries about the audition vanished. However, they all returned when she brought up the audition. We talked about what she thought of my abilities as an oboist, and what I need to work on to improve my playing. She gave me a list of skills to work on before my audition, and that she would be watching for those when I came to audition. It was then that my nerves hit the ceiling. The weeks they came and went. I practiced and improved upon the skills Professor Binkley recommended I work on. A week before the audition, however, I realized I had forgotten to memorize my melodic minor scales. The next week was an emotional rollercoaster of tears and regrets. I worked with Mrs. Tippett almost every night that week, pushing myself over an emotional wall and crying in her presence. All I wanted by this point was to get this audition done and over with. To my dismay, the day came where I had to travel down to Central Michigan University and audition for enrollment at the School of Music. When I arrived at Central Michigan University, the size of the school overwhelmed me. However, my nerves subsided as I took two mandatory music tests that would not affect my acceptance into the school. I was actually quite care-free till we were given the option of taking a practice room to warm up before our audition. The only help the practice room gave me was a place to release my nerves in the form of tears. Finally the time came. I felt like I was walking into death itself. My entire future depended on this audition. Then it happened. I walked into Professor Binkley's office for the second time in my life and all my nerves vanished. It was only her and I. We chatted before I actually did any playing, and she spoke kindly to me. I forgot I was even there to audition. I played my solo first. It was the best I ever played it. Next, I played some scales. Those were not as great as the solo. Before I sight read, she complimented me on my improvements since we had last met and how happy she was that I auditioned. She put the sight reading music on my stand and I was surprised at how easy it was. After I played the sight reading music, she turned to me and smiled. "I will tell you right now that I will accept you, but you won't hear anything about it till after all of the other auditions are done." I let out a sigh of relief. The future I desired was secured. Why was I so worried about this? The audition went on as if I just had a lesson with her. Thinking back, I believe that I was overthinking everything. I believed that their expectations were too high and that my skills were too low. I pushed myself down with every mistake. In reality, the university and I were the same size. To look at this incident with a new view, I can see that my expectations for myself and for what the school expected of me were not realistic. If I could have only understood this before, I would have saved myself not only tears, but emotional turmoil as well.
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